ChaCha Questions

In the United States, there is a text message question answering service called "ChaCha." It consists entirely of outside help answering questions asked by others via text message. Lately, I have become one of those people. I make $0.01 for each question I answer. There have been many odd questions that I have had to answer. Here are some of the best (and worst) of those questions:

• What are those floating lands called in dreams?
• Is there anyone blacker than Wesley Snipes?
• Why is it when you eat a lot of fiber, it creates so much gas?
• Is Alyssa cheating on me?
• Can a Magikarp beat a Pikachu?
• What is up with my neighbor? Why is he acting all weird and such?
• What are some ways to trap someone so they don't escape physically?
• What has a tail and is forgotten?
• How many grams of protein does a 145 pound male have to consume every day?
• Is it bad that puss is coming from a belly button piercing?
• I just got shot, what do I do?
• Is it wrong to enjoy the presence of 14-year-old boys?
• Are New Yorkers rude or polite?
• Hey, how are you?
• My TV just exploded in my face, what do I do?
• What does it mean when you are light headed and then, suddenly, you are pregnant?
• Are you an undercover agent who is pretending to be a surfer?
• Who invented Ravioli? In what year? Where?
• If my skin is itchy, does that mean I am pregnant?
• How far is 3,300 miles?
• Would a drug dog signal on catnip in a vehicle?
• Where did you hide my dog?
• Is it rude to nickname someone Lumpy Flumpkins?
• Follow up to previous question: I would love to be called that, wouldn't you?
• Can I be of complete hispanic origin and be caucasian?
• Is the name "Elizabeth" short for anything?
• Is purchasing something on iTunes free?
• How can I get over my fear of aliens?
• What are some things that if you drink them, you will be poisoned, but will not die right away?
• What is the name of the new Hawaiian Island?
• How good is the Anesthesiology program at the University of Texas at San Antonio?
• What does Oprah do on her spare time?
• My dog is a gang banger, should I be afraid?
• How was your weekend?

Well, those are all the questions I have for now. I have answered about 500 as of right now so I have earned $5.00 at the time of this post. I hope to make more in the future.

The Daumenator has spoken

Conversations I Tend To Have

Me: I see this dude a lot. I call him Alonso

Person: Do you know him?

Me: No

Person: Then why do you call him that?

Me: Because his personality just screams out "Alonso"

Person: Have you told this to him?

Me: No, I have never met him

Person: What are you saying?

Me: I observe him from afar

Person: You do know that is the definition of a creeper

Me: What? No. This is legitimate observing. Just ask all the other people I see such as Gregory, Chubles, and Ben Kingsley

Me: Is that James Bond? No, but it is someone cooler. It is (Person's name)!

Person: Why can't you just say hello like normal people?

Me: Why can't you accept the fact that I just called you cool?

-What I feel he should have said next-

Person: Wow, you are so right. Thanks for calling me cool.

-What he actually said-

Person: Just say hello next time.

Me: Man, that is a really low net on that tennis court

Person: There is no net

Me: Exactly

Me: If this food could talk, I bet it would beat out Morgan Freeman for a lot of narrating jobs

Person: What makes you think pizza would ever get hired?

Me: I'll have you know that pizza is very likeable

Person: Would you hire pizza to narrate your film?

Me: Well obviously they would have to do well at the interview. But I guess I would be looking for a deep dish pizza more than a thin crust. I think they could project their voice more. You know; more crust more power in their voice.

Person: So you would discriminate against pizzas?

Me: Oh shoot. I did not realize that. I should issue an apology to the pizza community

Person: Well pizzas aren't alive. You are just imagining them talking

Me: Hey, treat all equally. You don't know if they can hear you right now

Person: I refuse to believe that

Me: Well just to be on the safe side, I am going to try to strike up a conversation for every pizza and calzone I ever eat now

Person: You would be looking like a crazy person every time you did that

Me: I like to think of myself as a person who takes precautions against a pizza uprising

Person: Hey, what are you doing?

Me: I'll give you three guesses. I will stab you on the third try if you get it wrong.

Person: Do you even have a knife?

Me: That is irrelevant

Person: So you don't have a knife?

Me: I guess you will find out when you get stabbed

Person: Are you hiding your knife?

Me: That's one and... no

Person: Are you lying to me?

Me: That's two and... is not necessarily correct

Person: Are planning on how you are going to stab me?

Me: That's three! You will now get stabbed. (I then stabbed him with a carrot)

Person: Why couldn't you have said that you were eating lunch in the first place?

Me: Hey, doesn't that guy look like (Mutual friend's name)?

Person: Yeah, it totally looks like him

Me: I should take a picture

Person: Why?

Me: So I can show (Mutual friend's name) next time that I see him that he has a doppelgänger

Person: So how are you going to take a picture?

Me: I am going to snipe him with this camera

Person: You are starting to get pretty weird

Me: Too bad, I know you are jealous, but try to hold back your envy

Me: Have you ever noticed that, on multiple choice tests, there are errors in the way the questions are formed?

Person: How so?

Me: There are some choices. Then there is "None of the above" and "All of the above" just below that. By choosing all of the above, you are also choosing none of the above. This creates problems with me

Person: You could just ignore that

Me: Yes I could, but I feel teachers are waiting for the day someone points that out

Person: What would they do when that happens?

Me: Give me a cold stare, because they would know I am right

Person: But that sounds like they don't want to be caught on that fact

Me: That is what they want you to think. In the end, I will just give myself a gold star

Person: What are you doing today

Me: The usual, with some variations, of course

Person: Care to be specific

Me: Not really

Person: Are you just trying to cover up for the fact that you don't know

Me: Are you trying to cover up for the fact that I am taller than you?

Person: No

Me: Well I suggest that you better stand up when you question me. Oh wait, you are standing up

Person: I am not that short

Me: Well I am not in the mood to be questioned. Thus ends this conversation!

Person: I refuse to stop talking

Me: Let's change the subject!

Person: What?

Me: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Person: What?

Me: Have you ever heard of Lewis Carroll?

Person: No

Me: Read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, then come back and then I will tell you what I am doing today

Me: Hey howdy hey!

Person: Um... hello?

Me: Don't question whether to greet me or not!

Person: So have you read that book?

Me: Do you want me to make up the plot line based on the title?

Person: Have you done that before?

Me: Yes, War and Peace was about this crocodile named Larry who yearned to end the struggle between his species and the olive trees. It was very riveting.

Me: Hey, look over there!

Person: Where?

Me: Well it is not very specific, it is just nice landscaping.

Me: Would you rather have hedges or shrubberies?

Person: Trees

Me: Darn it! You found a loophole in my very specific question. You sir, are a clever person for avoiding the fact that I did not ask about trees at all.

Person: Well I would rather have trees than either of those two

Me: Let me put it this way: Oprah is forcing you to choose between hedges and shrubberies. Which do you choose?

Person: Why would I care about Oprah?

Me: Well, if you don't listen to Oprah, who are you going to listen to?

Me: Well, I am going to say goodbye

Person: Why didn't you say that to begin with?

Me: I didn't want you to be unprepared for when I drop that bomb on you

Person: What do you mean?

Me: Goodbye!

The Daumenator has spoken on the 150th post

Superheroes On The Other Side

That's right, folks. It's that time to think about something that may not necessarily exist, but is sure fun to think about. I'm talking about superheroes here. But the reason I am talking about them right now is that I have been thinking of what the world would be like if the heroes that are on our side (you know: the good people of Earth) switched with the bad people's heroes. By that, I mean they would fight for the different sides but in the same style that they fought with before, just against different people. Let's look at some heroes and think how much crap we'd all be in if we, as a people, had to fight:

Superman

All right; you've got this guy you've got to beat. Oh hey, there he is! Let's shoot him! Wait, how did that not work? Bullets have to work. But wait, legend tells of a rock that will make this guy weak. Okay! This is the solution that we have been waiting for! Where can we get it? Are you serious? It's on another planet? We don't have time for this. Superman can fly around the Earth more times than we can count before we could even get to Krypton. Analysis of Superman being on the other side: We're screwed.

Batman

First of all, which Batman are we talking about? The original Batman who drives around in the batmobile so he can get to the batcopter where he sprays exploding sharks with shark repellant bat spray or the newer batman that is the hero Gotham City deserves but not the one it needs right now? If it is the first one, then we're okay. He would just be the funny villain that all of the news stations make fun of. But if it is the latter we are talking about, then we, as a people, have to watch out at night. For goodness sakes people, he is using our cell phones as tracking devices! He can find anybody.

Spiderman


In a world where one must keep their house clean to impress guests, one "hero" will try to thwart a party with the use of his web creating abilities. Strategically placing cobwebs in corners, bathrooms, kitchens, and other various places, he can make his enemies appear to not care about cleanliness. This could be devastating if you are having house guests and they look at the spiderwebs located in your house and then think of you in a negative manner. Just think of the embarrassment that you would face. That would be terrible. Also, Spiderman would make it even more difficult to travel. Say you are driving on a highway. Well now you can't because there is a big spiderweb blocking your way. Now you just have to find a creative detour that may delay you. This would be truly horrible.


Well these have been the first three heroes to come to my mind. I feel that these three people would make it extremely difficult to live our lives in a completely normal fashion. I do not know what we would do with a society tat has to face these people every day. For now, I will just live in my bubble of ignorance from the superhero world.

The Daumenator has spoken

English Units

This is not the best example of me copying and pasting. There are a lot of tables in this article that made it hard to convert into blog format.The link to this Wikipedia page is in the title to this blog or here.

English units

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(Redirected from English unit)

This article is about the historical development of measurement in England. For the non-metric measurement system used in the UK, see Imperial units. For the system currently used in the USA with similar unit names, see United States Customary System.English units are the historical units of measurement in medieval England which evolved as a combination of the Anglo-Saxon and Roman systems of units. They were redefined in England in 1824 by a Weights and Measures Act, which retained many but not all of the unit names with slightly different values, and again in the 1970s by the International System of Units as a subset of the metric system. In modern UK usage, the term is considered ambiguous, as it could refer either to the imperial system used in the UK, or to the US customary system of unit. The common term used in the UK for the non-metric system is imperial units orimperial measurements, since they were used as a standard throughout the British Empire and the Commonwealth.Within the United States, the same term is commonly used to refer to the United States Customary System[1], which retains some unit names but with different values, as well as to the imperial units.Various standards have applied to English units at different times, in different places, and for different applications. Prior to the Battle of Hastings in 1066 theAnglo-Saxon system of measurement had been based on the units of the barleycorn and the gyrd (rod), inherited from tribes from Germany. After the Norman conquest, Roman units were reintroduced. The resultant system of English units was a combination of the Anglo-Saxon and Roman systems.Later development of the English system continued by defining the units by law in the Magna Carta of 1215, and issuing measurement standards from the then capital Winchester. Standards were renewed in 1496, 1588 and 1758. The last Imperial Standard Yard in bronze was made in 1845; it served as the standard in theUnited Kingdom until the yard was internationally redefined as 0.9144 metre in 1959 (statutory implementation: Weights and Measures Act of 1963). The English system then spread to other parts of the British Empire.

Length

Chart showing the relationships of distance measures.Poppyseed about 1⁄4 of a barleycorn[2]Line 1⁄4 of a barleycorn[3]Barleycorn Basic Anglo-Saxon unit, the length of a corn of barley. The unit survived after 1066, as the base unit from which the inch was nominally defined. 3 barleycorns comprising 1 inch was the legal definition of the inch in many medieval laws, both of England and Wales, from the 10th century Laws of Hywel Dda to the 1324 definition of the inch enacted by Edward II. Note the relation to the grain unit of weight. This archaic measure is still the basis for current UK and U.S. shoe sizes, with the largest shoe size taken as thirteen inches (a size 13) and then counting backwards in barleycorn units,[4] although the original derivation was: less than 13 barleycorns: infants with no shoes; 13 to 26 barleycorns: children's sizes 1 to 12; 26 to 39 barleycorns: men's sizes 1 to 13.Digit 3⁄4 inchFinger 7⁄8 inchHand 4 inchesYnch, inch Anglo Saxon inch, 3 barleycorns. Based on the Roman uncia from 1066.Nail 3 digits = 2 1⁄4 inches = 1⁄16 yardPalm 3 inchesShaftment Width of the hand and outstretched thumb, 6 1⁄2 ynches before 1066, 6 inches thereafterLink 7.92 inches or one 100th of a chain.[5]Span Width of the outstretched hand, from the tip of the thumb to the tip of the little finger, 3 palms = 9 inchesFoot Usually 13 inches but also other variants. Shortened to 12 inches by basing it on the Roman pes from 1066.Cubit From fingertips to elbow, 18 inches.Yard Introduced after 1066, 3 feet = 36 inches.Ell From fingertip of outstretched arm to opposite shoulder, 20 nails = 1 1⁄4 yard or 45 inches. Mostly for measuring clothFathom Distance fingertip to fingertip arms outstretched, 6 feetRod (= perch)Measurement of land, might have been from 20 "natural feet". Retained its length but redefined as 16 1⁄2 feet after 1066. (See also perch as an area and a volume unit.)Chain four linear rods. Named after the length of surveyor's chain used to measure distances until quite recently. Any of several actual chains used for land surveying and divided in links. Gunter's chain, introduced in the 17th century, is 66 feet.Furlong "One plough's furrow long" (Saxon furrow is furh), the distance a plough team could be driven without rest. This varied from region to region depending on soil type and local habit. In modern context, it is deemed to be 660 feet, 40 rods or ten chains.Mile Introduced after 1066, originally the Roman mile at 5000 feet, in 1592 it was extended to 5280 feet to make it an even number (8) of furlongs.League Usually three miles. Intended to be an hour's walk.AreaAcrearea of land one chain (four rods) in width by one furlong in length. As the traditional furlong could vary in length from country to country, so did the acre. In England an acre was 4,840 square yards, in Scotland 6,150 square yards and in Ireland 7,840 square yards. It is a Saxon unit, meaning field. Probably meant to be "as much area as could be ploughed in one day".Roodone quarter of an acre, confusingly sometimes called an acre itself in many ancient contexts. One furlong in length by one rod in width, or 40 square rods.Carucatean area equal to that which can be ploughed by one eight-oxen team in a single year (also called a plough or carve). Approximately 120 acres.Bovatethe amount of land one ox can plough in a single year (also called an oxgate). Approximately 15 acres or one eighth of a carucate.Perchan area equal to one square rod. (See also perch as a length and volume unit.)Virgatethe amount of land a pair of oxen can plough in a single year. Approximately 30 acres (also called yard land).Administrative unitsHidefour to eight bovates. A unit of yield, rather than area, it measured the amount of land able to support a single household for agricultural and taxation purposes.Knight's feefive hides. A knight's fee was expected to produce one fully equipped soldier for a knight's retinue in times of war.Hundred or wapentake100 hides grouped for administrative purposes. 

("A pint of pure water weighs a pound and a quarter")Chart showing the relationships of volume measures.QuartPint × 2 = 40 ozPottle or Half GallonQuart × 2 = 80 oz or 1⁄2 gallon.GallonPottle × 2 = 4 Quarts = 160 oz.PeckGallon × 2 = 320 oz.Kenning or PailPeck × 2 = 4 gal.BushelKenning × 2 = 8 gal.StrikeBushel × 2 = 16 gal.CoombStrike × 2 = 32 gal.CaskCoomb × 2 = 64 gal.BarrelCask × 2. In the U.K. a beer barrel is 36 imperial gallons (43 US gal; 164 L). In the U.S. most fluid barrels (apart from oil) are 31.5 US gallons (26 imp gal; 119 L) (half a hogshead), but a beer barrel is 31 US gallons (26 imp gal; 117 L). An oil barrel (bbl) is 42 US gallons (34.9723 imp gal; 158.9873 L).HogsheadBarrel × 2. A hogshead of wine is 63 wine/63 US gallons (52.5 imp gal; 238.5 L), while a hogshead of beer or ale is 54 gallons (250 L if old beer/ale gallons, 245 L if imperial).Butt or PipeHogshead × 2 = 128 gal.TunButt × 2 = 256 gal. (A tun is a ton). A Tun would actually be about 2,048 lb. but is a pretty close estimate, given that you would derive the weight and volume all from mouthfuls of water.perchIn both the United Kingdom and America, in addition to perch as a measure of length, there is also the perch which refers to the volume measurement of stone; one perch is equal to 16.5 ft × 1.5 ft × 1 ft = 24.75 cu. ft. of dry stone. The relationship to the unit of length (one perch = 16.5 feet) should be obvious.[6]cord128 cubic feet of firewood; a stack of firewood 4 ft × 4 ft × 8 ft.[7] 

Troy and Tower

The Troy and Tower pounds and their subdivisions were used for coins and precious metals. The Tower pound, which is based upon an earlier Anglo-Saxon pound, was abolished in 1527.In terms of (silver) currency a pound was 20 shillings of 12 pennies each (i.e. 240) from the late 8th century (Charlemagne/Offa of Mercia) to 1971 in the United Kingdom, but lighter than a troy one. Most old European currencies, like mark,shilling/solidus/groschen/øre, penny/pfennig/denar, taler/dollar/krone, florin/gulden/guilder/pound/złoty also belong into this monetary system.TroyGrain (gr) = 64.79891 mg Pennyweight (dwt) 24 gr ≈ 1.56 g Ounce (oz t) 20 dwt = 480 gr ≈ 31.1 g Pound (lb t) 12 oz t = 5760 gr ≈ 373 g Mark 8 oz TowerTower ounce 18 3⁄4 dwt = 450 gr ≈ 29 g Tower pound 12 oz T = 225 dwt = 5400 gr ≈ 350 g Apothecary Grain (gr) = 64.79891 mg Scruple (s ap) 20 gr Dram (dr ap) 3 s ap = 60 gr Ounce (oz ap) 8 dr ap = 480 gr Pound (lb ap) 5760 gr = 1 lb t OthersMerchants/Mercantile pound 15 oz tower = 6750 gr ≈ 437.4 g London/Mercantile pound 15 oz troy = 16 oz tower = 7200 gr ≈ 466.6 g Mercantile stone 12 lb L ≈ 5.6 kgButcher's stone 8 lb ≈ 3.63 kgSack 26 st = 364 lb ≈ 165 kg The carat was once specified as four grains in the English-speaking world. Some local units in the English dominion were (re-)defined in simple terms of English units, such as the Indian tola of 180 grains.

The Daumenator has spoken