My Top 11 Songs to Crank Up

Wow, it's been a while since I last edited this list. There have been many changes that I never took into account. Well let's get right to it, shall we? My top 11 songs that i must crank up when I hear them are (in alphabetical order):

1. A-Punk ~ Vampire Weekend
2. Ain't Nothing Wrong With That ~ Robert Randolph and the Family Band
3. Ambling Alp ~ Yeasayer
4. Dance Yrself Clean ~ LCD Soundsystem
5. Infinity Guitars ~ Sleigh Bells
6. Keep the Car Running ~ Arcade Fire
7. Little Secrets ~ Passion Pit
8. Next Girl ~ The Black Keys
9. The Obvious Child ~ Paul Simon
10. Time To Pretend ~ MGMT
11. Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games ~ Of Montreal

I have reasons for picking every single one of these songs. Those reasons are as follows:

A-Punk: I personally like the drums here. They make me feel like I'm drumming and I am just slapping away without a care. The guitar here sounds like a, well, I don't really know, but it sounds good.

Ain't Nothing Wrong With That: If you listen to it, you can hear that guitar do one of those waa woa wooaowao waoa wo wa wa sounds that I find very difficult to master. So difficult, I can't even right in on paper. There is clapping, group singing and much more here.

Ambling Alp: This song has crazy drums. By crazy drums I mean they have a crazy beat that I can follow if I really listen to the song very closely. Right now, this is the song I dance to when I am alone. But that is like having a wine connoisseur tell you about the wine he drinks. There are too many, but this song gets my feet moving.

Dance Yrself Clean: Like I once said before, that is not a typo. You may not believe me that this is a song that deserves to be blasted, but that is because you're one of those people who listen to the first two minutes of a song and gives up. But literally at 3 minutes and 8 seconds, it gets awesome.

Infinity Guitars: This is the song that is otherwise known as my gangster song. Even though there is a female voice, dudes like me can still jam out to the loudness that comes from the band Sleigh Bells. If you haven't heard it yet, watch out for your speakers at 2 minutes and 5 seconds. That is prime highway time.

Keep The Car Running: Like the title suggests, (In my mind) this song was meant for cars. The drum keeps the song alive. Maybe that is the trend that defines crankability. Hey bands of the world. Use more drums. Your song will be so much cooler. By the way, that picture is the album cover for Neon Bible.

Little Secrets: I like to dance. This song assists me in that respect. It provides that nice bouncy beat that I can hop around to. There is a lack of pounding drums but I like it anyway. Come on, guys. Not all the songs can have drums.

Next Girl: As I once said before, this is my swag song. Great guitar and bass. "Nuff said.

The Obvious Child: Back to the drums again. If you can't hear the drums in this song then I don't know what to do with you. I know I cannot achieve this level of drumming, but I have achieved this level of listening. Hopefully all of you people will have achieved it to by the time you hear this song.

Time To Pretend: This has a swag element that mixes with a weird bounciness. I really don't know how to describe it but I like it. Well, of course I like it, why else would it be on this list. Sorry, that was silly of me to do there. I'm sorry about the language if it offends anyone I didn't write this song's lyrics.

Wraith Pinned Against the Mist and Other Games: It's the base that is the selling pooint here. I really like the deepness of it. The bass drum too. They all are synchronized which is double plus good (1984 anyone?). This band is a little bit odd but I like them anyway. The bassist was almost in consideration for my dream band but he lost out because I felt he was too weird and old.

The Daumenator has spoken

Chickens Have Hair

Yes. Yes they do. After a long argument with someone who presented no evidence of their own, I have concluded (not suggested) that chickens have hair. But looking back, I must think. "Why was I arguing about this in the first place?" Well the answer is very simple. I one day made a statement that was doubted by everyone in the room that I was in. The statement was as follows:

Chickens have har behind their ears that determine the color of the eggs. Also, there are left handed and right handed dice.

Okay. That second statement was proven in seconds. Wikipedia and and an image search on Google got that solved right away. Boom. Done.

The First Statement was a bit tricky. The person I was arguing with refused to believe I was telling the truth. I must confess something here, I made this statement on April Fool's Day. This was my mistake. I didn't know it would turn into the calamity that it evolved into. The person I was arguing with (Let's call them ZEE) reportedly "went to Yahoo! answers" and that was the evidence that "proved me wrong."

That was total crap. Are you serious? Yahoo! doesn't know squat about the hair of chickens. I was outraged! Angry! Even upset! I then took action.

I use online databases for when I need good, intelligent information. They take scholarly journals and things like that and search amongst those for you. When one presents information from the "Internet," it sounds so cheap and it makes the information sound shaky. When one presents information from the scholarly journals of an online database, there arguments are already more superior than the other person's.

This was the situation that I was in. As you can easily see, I had the upper hand. One factor that was against me was seniority. The person I was arguing with was very much older than I was (ZEE still is) and so ZEE could definitely be seen as wise and above petty arguments. But this was not petty. This was REAL. At this point, the gloves came off when I was immediately dismissed as wrong.

I realize that I went on a whole tangent about online databases, but never told why that was relevant. I looked up 9 (count them) 9 different articles that separately proved my point. Some were about deaf chickens regrowing their hair to hear again. Others were about the Texas State Fair where chickens had hair conditioners. The most interesting was a chicken lizard hybrid with spiked red hair. Lizards don't have hair so it must have come from the chicken. (The mutant is named Spike). No one article specifically said chickens have hair behind their ears. They all gave bits and pieces of that statement where the total response made me correct, but it was still hard to see unless you were really looking for the answer. Maybe I stretched the truth and went off many assumptions. Who knows?

But after 9 solid articles, ZEE thought that they were all fake! I was still outraged! Where was the evidence that proved me wrong? I did not see any of that.

I then printed out 10 other abstracts of articles still related to chicken hair but were unrelated to the original 9. They were also from a different online database which would eventually show that I used multiple sources. (I first used EBSCO and then FirstSearch. There used to be another database that literally found everything that I was looking for. It had a Q in its name, they made a big deal about the Q, but it wasn't CQ Researcher. Does anyone know?) These were then submitted to ZEE who said, that it would "look over them to make sure they weren't fake."

I have to confess again here. I broke down at this point. There was no evidence of ZEE saying that I was right. ZEE would seem to avoid the subject and never gave a direct answer. Answers were given like, "I'll take it into consideration." This gave me no support whatsoever. Here is where I resorted to cheating. I took three different articles that were still related to chickens and slightly altered them to make them basically say the whole statements in them but make it sound like the original article. I assumed that I was already right (which I was) and decided that the dogfight should end. These 3 articles were then submitted to ZEE who still believed I was lying at that time. ZEE then said that they would, "Do some research of their own."

I then submitted a statement from my fake association stating the facts of the debate thus far. I stated the evidence given on both sides, which clearly pointed out who had the upper hand (It was me). I specifically gave an ultimatum of ZEE giving up or leaving the city. This statement was ignored.


The end result of this debate was that I decided that all my energy that I spent arguing was going to was. ZEE was a blob of goo that would just absorb all my evidence and do nothing about it except get some hypothetical goo on me when I got to close to winning. The debate was never officially dropped, it was more or less let go.... But all the while, I knew I was the winner, the victor, the champion.

I left something out here. Over time, the debate changed from the hair deciding egg color to whether or not chickens have hair or not. This was a good direction to travel in because in my research, I found that the ear lobes of a chicken determine the egg color. I hoped that ZEE (ZEE: You know who you are. If you are reading this, then HA! I fooled you. I bet you didn't know that.) wouldn't figure that out before the case was closed. It would have thrown off my entire case and I would be forced to admit defeat. (Although, in retrospect, ZEE never offered up their hypothesis. ZEE had nothing to lose. I should have stopped there and called them out on that.)

Well this was a brief summary of the events of a part of my life. If you have anything to say about chickens, hair, or anything else. Please inform me via comments. I really don't know how to reach you in any other way.

The Daumenator has spoken

Karaoke's Greatest Hits

Have you ever noticed that there are a few certain songs that circulated around the karaoke universe. I mean, don't you keep hearing the same songs (sung by possibly the same people) over and over again. I'm not complaining. If I wrote a song that was a karaoke hit, I would be pretty darn happy. I would have a pile of Benjamins (American Nickname for 100 dollar bills) that I would sit on as my throne. But as for these karaoke songs, I think I have a few good reasons why they are so popular.


Improvement of Karaoke Machines


You have to admit, karaoke technology has improved greatly. We can now see the words and find out when to say them exactly. The machines have become cheaper, smaller, and you can project the words on to a wall, television, or someone's forehead. I once did live karaoke. That was where an actual band played the song to my singing. I did "Kung Fu Fighting" and I accidentally kicked a chair over. It was a mixture of fun and chair lawsuits.


Rock Band

You have to admit, this is an advanced version of karaoke where not all the pressure of the audience is directed towards you. In this situation, you can always make fun of the person who is doing the worst, like the drummer who can't hit the bass pedal at the right time. But it is all fun and games, but with a score, letting people who can't sing know that they hit 45% of the notes. "Don't blame me man, the game said you stunk, not me."


Karaoke Bars


"What's that?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you. A Karaoke bar is a place where people go to intentionally sing karaoke in front of other karaoke enthusiasts. This has become a safe haven for karaokeiers (Is that word scientifically possible? (Did what I just said make any sense?)) who want to just sing and not care about the reaction if it's bad. They are big in the orient (I didn't call it the east because of this) (By the way, I found out that the orient is really just the east and the occident is just the west (This just in: occident is not accident. Close, though (Correction: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades (On a separate note: I feel I am abusing my parentheses privileges)))), but they also exist in the North America, Europe, and Australia. There could be more continents where they do exist, but the are advertised more on those continents.


More Songs Have Been Written


Duh. More songs = More karaoke material.


This has been another exciting view on the world. You can pay me $20 for this or you could not. I don't really know if I could accept your money because I asked for it. If you are sending me money, write and 800 word essay, double spaced, Times New Roman font about why I should accept your money. I will count your words. (Teachers never seem to. I guess they just guess how many there are or they go by the honor system)

The Daumenator has spoken

Lightning

I'm watching a thunderstorm right now. This is one of my favorite thing in the world. But I have a question. If the storm has a lot of lightning in it, why do they call it a thunderstorm?

In the picture shown above, which was an artists representation of a thunderstorm, you can clearly see that the artist cannot seem to place where the lightning is. This is a problem. If artists cannot see the thunder, how can we as a people believe it is even there.

This is an issue we must rise up against! Garghh!!! I'm so angry that I can't even finish this post!

By the way. Some of you may have seen this post about seven months earlier. If you did, then you are crazy. Get out of here.

The Daumenator has spoken