Over a period of time, I have created ideas in my own head that I feel to be great. But when I say them out loud, they just sound really, really, stupid. If you've never had that happen to you (which I doubt) it would feel something like this:
I had this idea when I was about ten that I would invent something that would solve everything that has been watered down. It really started when I tasted a really crappy combination of water and orange juice. It was about 50/50 making it seem like weak O.J. I being the naive (which is evian spelled backwards) person I was formed the idea of a machine that would "freeze" the beverage of the one that I would be drinking so that when those frozen pieces unfroze it wouldn't affect the drink concentration. If you've noticed, I've pretty much described to you a freezer. I didn't realize that at the time but felt so pumped up by this fantastic idea. I didn't realize the downsides to this idea for some time though until I told someone (who will remain unnamed about this) about this. I realized that the only way to make this better than a freezer would be to speed up the process which would probably be involving liquid nitrogen, which was really expensive and just out my ten-year-old budget. This idea never had a chance. I even had a cool name for it. I was going to call it "Juice Cubes."
My next idea came to me in a dream where I was in a forest on a squirrel hunt. This is a dream so we will let a lot of physics just fly out the metaphorical window for now. In my dream, I invented a gun that would shoot out a robot at the squirrel and then shoot its own gun at the robot. The drawbacks to this idea came from the fact that there aren't a lot of gun shooting robots out there and that getting to fit inside my gun with a gun of its own seem impractical. I also in the dream came up with the idea of me shooting a rival squirrel out of my gun and have it fight the other squirrel. It would be like a heat seeking squirrel. As soon as I said that to someone, I realized three things: 1) There are no such things as heat seeking squirrels (at least in the hunting sense) 2) There aren't such things as rival squirrel clans (yet) and 3) I really like having three points to my arguments.
After two ideas, I feel as though I am opening myself up to a lot of opportunities to be attacked here. Plus, one of you might steal my ideas and make them even worse. Well I would be crushed if someone did that. That's my job to make everything stinkier. I may not know whether stinkier is even a word or not, but I know when my ideas are bad. I shalt now leave in this time of extreme mockery.
You're in a meeting and the person in charge has been talking about a revolutionary idea that needs a majority decision from the group that you are in to actually be put into place. He states, "All in favor say 'aye.' Every one says 'aye' because its a great idea but you have spaced out at this point and you've just realized that and you try to make up for it almost ten seconds later, as someone is talking, and blurt out 'AYE!' Everyone then stares at you as though you have an elephant sitting on your head making you feel extremely uncomfortable. That is the feeling that I am trying to describe.
I had this idea when I was about ten that I would invent something that would solve everything that has been watered down. It really started when I tasted a really crappy combination of water and orange juice. It was about 50/50 making it seem like weak O.J. I being the naive (which is evian spelled backwards) person I was formed the idea of a machine that would "freeze" the beverage of the one that I would be drinking so that when those frozen pieces unfroze it wouldn't affect the drink concentration. If you've noticed, I've pretty much described to you a freezer. I didn't realize that at the time but felt so pumped up by this fantastic idea. I didn't realize the downsides to this idea for some time though until I told someone (who will remain unnamed about this) about this. I realized that the only way to make this better than a freezer would be to speed up the process which would probably be involving liquid nitrogen, which was really expensive and just out my ten-year-old budget. This idea never had a chance. I even had a cool name for it. I was going to call it "Juice Cubes."
My next idea came to me in a dream where I was in a forest on a squirrel hunt. This is a dream so we will let a lot of physics just fly out the metaphorical window for now. In my dream, I invented a gun that would shoot out a robot at the squirrel and then shoot its own gun at the robot. The drawbacks to this idea came from the fact that there aren't a lot of gun shooting robots out there and that getting to fit inside my gun with a gun of its own seem impractical. I also in the dream came up with the idea of me shooting a rival squirrel out of my gun and have it fight the other squirrel. It would be like a heat seeking squirrel. As soon as I said that to someone, I realized three things: 1) There are no such things as heat seeking squirrels (at least in the hunting sense) 2) There aren't such things as rival squirrel clans (yet) and 3) I really like having three points to my arguments.
After two ideas, I feel as though I am opening myself up to a lot of opportunities to be attacked here. Plus, one of you might steal my ideas and make them even worse. Well I would be crushed if someone did that. That's my job to make everything stinkier. I may not know whether stinkier is even a word or not, but I know when my ideas are bad. I shalt now leave in this time of extreme mockery.
The Daumenator has spoken
