Connections

Man, for us Northern Hemisphere people, it sure has gotten cold. Okay, fine, I'm just assuming that everyone in the Northern Hemisphere is in the temperate zone, which is an example of a really bad assumption. You people in Venezuela, you're excluded from this cold temperature. I don't know whether or not to be jealous or not care. I'm very indecisive about this.

You know what I'm not indecisive about? How much a tetanus shot makes your arm sore. I don't have tetanus, but I like to be safe because recently I had an incident where the disease transmitted were questionable. Translation: The dog that bit me wasn't up to date on any of his shots. Also: Its name was Black Killer. That strikes fear into your hearts doesn't it?

My arm is okay, so far. I recently discovered its soreness when I was playing basketball and I was trying to do some awesome fade-away shots from the three point line when my arm all of a sudden started feeling like jelly, which reminds me, I haven't had Jell-O in a long time. You know what I haven't had in a long time? Saltines.

One thing you may not know about me is that I love Saltines. (By the way, if they are not made by the company Saltine, the are known as Saltine Crackers). Lets put it this way, if I didn't exercise every day, I would be fat due to eating so much saltines. Today alone, I just went through two whole freaking sleeves of Saltines without knowing I had eaten that much. Picture me, in a chair, watching a random sporting event (I think it was cricket, but I don't want to be specific. This could totally apply to golf, football, basketball, tennis, gymnastics, etc.) and I am just eating Saltine after Saltine, savoring their salty and tasty taste. The sleeves for Saltines don't make it any easier. They are so slippery that Saltines practically fall into my hand, and I don't want to have to go through the trouble of putting the Saltines back so I might as well eat them.

Why do they call them sleeves? I is because a long line of crackers is like and arm and they just fit through that plastic sheet. I guess that makes sense. If anyone (or is it any one? No one really makes that distinction) has anything to say about that naming process, let me know. I have trouble sometimes with the plastic sleeves. I know I have to rip it a certain amount to get the next cracker in the sleeve, but I don't want to rip the sleeve too much so that crackers or cookies start falling out because they are unprotected by the plastic sleeve. I don't know how to stop this calamity because all it does is make me want to eat the overflowing crackers.

You know what was a calamity? That cobra escaping from the Bronx Zoo. I read some of his Twitter tweets. That was some good stuff.

You know what's good stuff? Campbell's Soup. There is tomato soup, chicken noodle soup, and so much more. The choices are overwhelming. I hear cans are good for storing. They really can help you stock food for a nuclear crisis or if you are holed in your house during a very col and snowy winter.

Well we have come full circle in this post. Did you notice? We went from Winter to Decisions to Tetanus to Jell-O to Saltines to Sleeves to Calamities to Cobras to Soup. You could say that I was challenged by a friend to make a connection from Winter to Soup, but that would be false. I do tend to accept challenges a lot. Someone could be randomly saying, "You can't eat a whole sleeve of Saltines without knowing it," and I will be all like, "Challenge Accepted!" It is a great way to show off how daring you are. This is it until next year. See you later.

The Daumenator has spoken

Happy Holidays

December 16

Ahhhhh... December. What a history that has.


What? You don't know of the great history that the Date December 16 has? How dare you! Even I know all about the... um, well... you know... the thing. Okay, the point is, before today, I was ready to write off December 16 as a day in history where nothing happened. Well I was proven wrong.


Let's start with the birthdays of famous people. Some famous births include:

• Catherine of Aragon: Queen consort of England (b. 1485)
• Ludwig von Beethoven: German composer and pianist (b. 1770)
• King Leopold I of Belgium: King of Belgium (b. 1790)
• Sir Jack Hobbs: English cricket player (b. 1882)
• Flo Rida: American Rapper (b. 1979)
• Anna Popplewell: She played Lucy in The Chronicles of Narnia (b. 1988)

Colonel Sanders died on this day in 1980

This day is celebrated as National Anything Covered in Chocolate Day. Oh, darn. I feel sorry for the guy who just bought a whole tub of fondue.


Here are some important events that occurred on this date:

• 1431: Henry IV of England is crowned King of France (This was after the War of the Three Henrys. I'm not kidding. Look it up)
• 1653: Oliver Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of England
• 1773: Boston Tea Party
• 1903: The Great (large) White (color) Fleet (of ships) starts its circumnavigation of the world (to show off their guns)
• 1985: Joh Gotti becomes head of the Gambino Crime Family
• 1997: An episode of Pokemon caused 685 Japanese children to have seizures

Hey, at this point, there are only 15 more days left in the year. Make it last.

The Daumenator has spoken

Succession To The British Throne

I'm not British. I don't live in a country with a king or queen ruling over me, but I am intrigued by the monarchy over there. Recently, after a certain royal marriage (remember that way back in April?) I became interested in the line of succession and where the marriage put Prince Willy. I found the line of succession on a Wikipedia page. On this list, there are a number of rules for remaining in the line of succession. They are:

The right of succession is regulated by the Act of Settlement 1701, the Royal Marriages Act 1772 and common law. It is restricted to the legitimate Protestant heirs of the Electress Sophia of Hanover, and is order by male-preference cognatic primogeniture.

A person is always immediately followed in the succession by his or her own legitimate descendants (his or her line) except for any legitimate descendants who already appear higher in the line of succession. A person's sons (and their lines) all come before a person's daughters (and their lines). Older sons (and their lines) come before younger sons (and their lines). Older daughters and their lines come before younger daughters and their lines.

At the time of accession, the heir to the throne must be a Protestant and enter into communion with the Church of England.

Anyone who is Roman Catholic, becomes Roman Catholic, or marries a Roman Catholic is permanently excluded from the line of succession.

A person born to parents who are not married to each other at the time of birth (a bastard) is not included in the line of succession. The subsequent marriage of the parents does not alter this. Under British law, a child born to a married woman is assumed to be the child of her husband.

The line of succession is also used to select the Counsellors of State (and a regent if the need arises) under the provisions of the Regency Act 1937.

The first seven positions in the line of succession have remained unchanged since the birth of Princess Eugenie in March 1990.

First of all, after reading this, I thought, "What a lame name Eugenie is." Now I know it was probably hip back then, but it sounds nerdy now. Just think, have you ever seen someone named Eugene who didn't look a little nerdy? I thought not. I know I have been saying Eugene, but that is the male version of that name I guess. I have never met anyone named Eugenie.

There is an official list of the line of succession (did I say that right?). It is very lengthy and it took me a full minute to scroll through all of it. There are the more well-known people at the top like Prince Charles, Prince William, and Prince Henry (Who I keep thinking is Harry. Maybe that is his nickname but seeing that made me feel like I was going crazy. Oh wait, strike that. I just looked it up. He is commonly known as Prince Harry. Whooo! Crisis avoided. No need to panic here), but the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on until the numbers indicating the person's rank go from 1 all the way to 2374 which is Katherine von Grabmayr who was born in 1967. After I saw her name, I thought, "At least she has a chance at making it to the throne." Now there is a disclaimer for Katherine (not Middleton (Remember her?)). It says something like, "the descendents of this person are ranked high under this guy." (This guy was just a random name. There is no one in succession who is named "this guy" (that I know of)). But at 2374, I'd lose hope. I guess it would be a cool conversation starter at parties, but other than that, I don't really see where being in line that far back comes in handy. Can't you imagine someone like Katherine at a party with someone else:

Other Person: I work at a fish and chips shop, what do you do?

Katherine: Oooh, I'm in line for the throne right now. I'm trying to keep my options open just in case 2373 people strategically die before me.

Other Person: You've already said that Katherine. Get a freaking job!

Katherine: That's not how you treat royalty!

Other Person: It is now! (Punches Katherine in the face and laughs)

Okay, I might be making that last part up, but you have to think. That is a pretty likely story where Katherine is bragging about her possible thronage.

I wish I was in succession to the throne. I will now look my family history to see, like in A Knight's Tale, where I am part of an "Ancient Royal Line." (Question: Did anyone else out there question the prince when he said that? To this day, I am not sure if he was telling the truth or not. It would be awesome if William (or should I say, "Sir William?") was actually royalty) Tata for now, people.

The Daumenator has spoken

Speed Typing To Songs

Okay, here's the deal: I am going to try to type as much as I can for as long as a certain song plays. As soon as the song ends, I will stop writing (Note: that is why some of these ended up ending weirdly) What I say might not make any sense whatsoever, but I will try my best to make my words sensible. I am being rushed by the clock here so I might get cut off. This will get interesting because I will make everything up on the spot.

Song: Gonna Make You Sweat by C&C Music Factory

I've heard parodies of this song before. Some of it has been related to corn like, "Everybody Shuck Now." You get it? Shuck as in, corn. Ha Ha Ha I almost forgot to laugh. Wow, this song is longer than I thought it was. Turns out I have 4 minutes left. This was probably a bad choice of a song. I guess you could call this one a practice run. I got me to types fast and the beat really helps. I must confess that I really wanted to dance while typing this. Oh, shoot! I have been spacing out by editing what I have been writing. I only have about 30 seconds left. Ahh! I'm wasting time! Goats

Song: I Hope This Gets To You by The Daylights

I recently found this song. I find to be very heart warming. I found the hands in their music video to be creepy. Ahhh! bad choice! It is only 2.5 minutes long. Okay I have an issue. No one ever refers to minutes as like 2.5 minutes. It is always two and a half minutes. There is a lot of clapping in the background. It just took me three tries to spell background correctly. That doesn't even make sense. It is an

Song: Hamster On A Piano by Parry Gripp

Okay, I truly like this song, but it is so gosh darn short. I could listen to this once and have it stuck in my head for about two days. The people that know me in real life can attest to that. Is that really how it is spelled? Attest? I thought it was

Song: Young Love by Maximum Balloon

This is the most played song on iTunes for me. I'm not sure if it is my favorite. I think I just played it over and over again. I really doubt that any of you people have heard this song before. I find it catchy. I'm starting to find a weird pattern here. The songs I tend to like the most I seem to be able to drum to easily. I'm not saying I am a drummer, I'm not, but I just tap on a desk and pretend to hear the music in my head. It is a weird observation, but it might just be in the name of science. The name of science, do I really want to do stuff for science? I'm pretty sure

Song: WIld Honey Pie by The Beatles

You might be thinking to yourself, that's the Beatles? Why yes it is. It is from the White Album, which might explain some things. If I had to be a dork, this is my jam. Speaking of cans

Song: Frodo, Don't Wear The Ring by Flight of the Conchords

Booyah! This song! It makes me laugh to hear it and it is even funnier (real word? Sometimes I doubt these things) to see. I really don't know what to say about most of this time. I feel like Boggle really screws me over by putting Q and J in the mix. It is really hard to

Well that is all the time that I have for just now. This was a real test of my patience. I hope that this post does not offend anyone. You can never be too sure about who you're offending and why. Some people do not like using contractions. It's just something they don't do.

The Daumenator has spoken