Names That Bands Should Consider

Hey, you. Yeah, you, the reader. Are you forming a band? If you are literate, keep reading. If you are illiterate, congratulations on making it this far. If you would notice, this post will be in a JUSTIFIED paragraph form. Yeah, that's my way of "mixing it up." For those of you who are interested in showing the world your musical talent, consider your band name. If you have already got one, you don't have to change it, but just take my advice. Make sure your band lines up with the type of music you are making. Some great examples of this are Rage Against the Machine, which has music which is full of RAGE. Another example is Lounge Against the Machine, which plays LOUNGE music versions of other bands songs. But don't be like the band, Captain Sunshine and the Golden Rays who are a death metal band. You don't want to attract the people who just look at your band name and just assume who you are.

There have been great band names, and then there have been some band names that we do not want to mention. I have already concocted some names that you can taken into account. These include (in alphabetical order):

• Ahoy Ye Pirates
• Alpha Tunes
• The Appliances
• Aptitude for Appetite
• Audience Delight
• Avast Ye!
• Bear Jones and the Honey Bees
• Beta Sector
• Bee in a Bonnet
• Carpooler Central
• Chicken in a Biscuit
• Danger in a Can
• Domino Sanchez
• The Dude Ranch Dudes
• Edgy Wedgie
• Elephants in Stride
• The End of the Highway
• Fat Slim Jims
• The Fish Slappers
• Frozen Baked Alaska
• Gary Shizpig
• Goofus
• Great Space
• Harry and the Aurors
• Hoi Peloi
• Hot Gaspacho
• Hullaballoo in the Hot Tub
• The Igloo Dilemma
• Idea Manual
• Jubilee For Sam
• James and the Questionable Characters
• Kiwi Posers
• Knot Tying Kings
• Lazy Judy
• Lumbar Support
• Maximum Sandwich
• Metronome Blues
• The Mild Mannered Mallard
• Moog Moog and the Space Barbers
• Near the Leopard 
• Noodle Slappers
• Officer Jake
• Optimization of Sound
• Pink Peppers
• Purple People Party
• Queen Savers
• Quitters
• The Respectable Butlers
• Rubber Biscuit
• Returning Tourists
• Shady People
• The Shaky Bears
• The Simple Simons
• The Top Hat Trashers
• Tippy Timmy and the Wobbly Chairs
• Upper Crust
• Underwood and Overstreet
• Velociraptor Safety
• Vector Awareness
• Warp Speed
• Wanda's Choice
• Wendell's Choice
• Wendy's Choice
• The X Factor
• Xylophone Rampage
• Yak Yak Yak
• Yeti Reunion
• Yule Tide Roll Tide
• Zip Lines Onstage
• Zip Zap Zoop

If you have any more suggestions, please let me know. Also let me know if this helped you in any way create a band name for yourself, but please don't say it helped to learn what NOT to do. That would just be hurtful to my heart.

The Daumenator has spoken

Fancy Pants

In the age of kings, pants existed in many bright colours. Back then, the letter U was also popular; hence the u in colours. Pants were strongly recommended then, as opposed to our society today. In another way unlike our society today, they were a fashion statement. People would were the fanciest pants they had in order to impress those around them. Various types of pants correlated with various levels of fancyness. These are the various pants that I have been able to track down:


Poofy/Puffy Pants: These types of pants were to make people look phat. Back in the olden days, being chunky as a monkey was as hip as pointy shoes (see below). But where the pants come into play is that they were for the people with a serious lack of blubber. You couldn't tell how much of a person there was when they were wearing their poofy/puffy pants. What made them fancy though is that they were great for tie-dying. You could definitely have a lot of colours swirling around on those poofalicious pants. On a side note, they also covered up thunder thighs.

Did I mention they were great for fighting in?

Invisible Pants: These pants were popularized by the emperor who wore clothes that fools could not see. It was known as the great excuse for forgetting to wear pants when out for a walk. Invisibility pants did not work like the invisibility cloaks in Harry Potter. They them selves were invisible but they people they were covering were not.

These invisible pants are on sale

Hammer Pants: If you are confused at this point, you obviously did not know that MC Hammer invented the time machine. He realized that he was obviously born in the wrong time period so he traveled back and introduced the idea to the olden age peoples. These pants can definitely be considered as part of the poofy/puffy pants category but they reall need their own space because of their interesting facts. Back in the day, people would have stop in the streets for these pants at a certain time every day (Hammertime).

You modern age people can't even touch these fancy pants

Leather Pants: Come on, really? Do I really need to explain these pants to you? They're just leather and slimming. That's all.

Nothing special to see here folks

Pirate Pants: These were really only popular amongst pirates. Not that they were really the cool kids at the lunch table, but we have to point out what was popular to them. These pants were pretty comfy so we can see why they were worn so much. They allowed room for the ankles and they made pirates look cool when they're jumping around on a ship. They just made pirates say, "Argh! Them pants be hotter than scurvy!"

Just look at them swashbuckler pants

Pointy Shoes: These are not pants. I repeat: NOT PANTS. They just added to the fancyness of the people wearing all of the other pants. People of that time believed that they pointy-er the shoes were, they more likely they were to keep out fairies, demons, other people, etc. This caused people to get really pointy shoes worked out so that they had to curl them so they didn't stab people they were walking behind.

Pointy, aren't they?

Well that is all I could find on the fancyness of the pants of that old-timey era. (Notice how I never actually said what time period I was referring to). During my "research" I found that there is a game online called "Fancy Pants" which even has a sequel called "Fancy Pants 2." It follows the story of a stick figure with some really fancy pants running around, crushing spiders, and making the world a little bit fancier in the process. Here is a picture of that fancy pants man.

Run fast, run fancy

The Daumenator has spoken

Old-Fashioned Tomato Booing

Don't tell me you haven't seen it. In many cartoons and films, a performer gets on stage and when they start stinking like yesterday's diapers, various vegetables, preferably tomatoes (yeah that's right, I'm a firm tomatoes are vegetables believer) are thrown at the performer. When I first saw that I thought, "what a waste to tomatoes." But then over time, I understood the audience's reaction. Nothing says, you are terrible like getting a tomatoes right in the face. When you, as a performer, get hit in the face with anything like that, that would be the moment in which you reconsider your career.


Well you all heard of it, but have any of you actually seen it happen live? I haven't and I have mixed feelings about that. Because I am afraid that that would happen to me. Today, I don't think you can really walk into a venue with a sack of tomatoes without getting a few questionable looks from the audience. And what do you say if you get caught by security? Do you just play it cool and say, "it's for science"? 


By now I have realized that there is a major flaw in bringing tomatoes to a performance. You see, the act of tomato throwing would indicate that the performance was bad, and if you bring tomatoes to the venue, you think the performance is going to be bad. And if you think the performance is bad, why would you even go to the venue in the first place? What I think happened in the cartoons and old films is that there was a tomato stand in the venue that they would have just in case the performance was bad. That way someone is able to make money no matter what the performer does. I would totally be happy to run a tomato stand just so I could see something exciting no matter what.


The Daumenator has spoken

The Seven Seas

"Arghhh, we gonna be sailin' an' plunderin' the seven seas mateys!"

Has anyone ever heard anyone say anything like that and thought to themselves "what the cheese are the seven seas. Well according to Medieval Literature (wikipedia) the seven seas were the seas that ranged from Spain to India which were the:

Mediterranean Sea, Adriatic Sea, Aegean Sea, Black Sea, Caspian Sea, Red Sea, Arabian Sea

Okay, great. Why did I tell you this?

1. Because I felt like it
2. Because I fell that no one has ever said, "Ye pirates be geographically correct!"
3. Because I like having three points to everyone of my arguments

But what we really need is the awareness that pirates, if you are in America, are not really that close. Sure they may be in the Caribbean, but is that really in your general vicinity? No one is ever under any pressure from the dreaded pirates on Lake Erie.

On a different note, I saw some ninja tracks the other day. I took a picture of them.

The Daumenator has returned