"Happy New Year!!!"

The Daumenator

Stories that you really should not tell anyone

Story #1

Once upon a time, there was a chicken. Unfortunately, he was not a lucky chicken. He lived on a farm where the farmers raised chickens to be eaten. One day the chicken was decapitated and eaten on October 19.

Story #2

Once upon a time, there was a fly. He was born, he lived, and he died on the same day.

Story #3

In the jail cells of Spain, there once lived a prisoner. He was in prison for a certain reason but it doesn't matter now because he's in prison now. On one fine day, he got released from his cell and ate breakfast. He drank some wine. He soon went back to his cell. Then, at approximately two o'clock in the afternoon he got released from his cell and ate luncheon. He drank some wine. He soon went back to his cell. Then, around midnight, he got released from his cell and ate dinner. He drank some wine. He soon went back to his cell. He then realized that he didn't like prison. He went to bed.

The Daumenator has told

Wisdom Words

• I like cheese
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
• Talk louder and you'll probably be right
• WTF (Wow! That's Fancy!; Where's the food?; Who's the Freak?; Who threw fire?; When's the fiesta?; Where's Tom Farthington?; Why talk fast?; Why tell Fred?; Wendy! Think Fast!
• You're going down like steak in the oven of fire
• A black cat crossing you're path signifies that the animal is going somewhere

The Daumenator has spoken

Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here!

Hmmmmm... hmmmmm... hmmmmm!!!

{Ready pop?}
{Yep.}
{Ready son?}
{Mmm hmm!}
{Let's go.}
{Let's go!}
{One, two...}

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here!
Lolly Lolly Lolly, got some adverbs here!
Come on down to Lolly's, get the adverbs here!
You're going to need
If you write or read
Or even think about it.

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here!
Got a lot of Lolly, jolly adverbs here!
Anything you need
And we can make it absolutely clear!

An adverb is a word...   {That's all it is, and there's a lot of 'em!}
That modifies a verb...  {Sometimes a verb!  Sometimes...}
It modifies an adjective,
Or else another adverb.
And so you see that it's positively, very, very, necessary.

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here!
Father, son and Lolly selling adverbs here!
Got a lot of adverbs and we make it clear,
So come to Lolly!

{Hello, folks.  This is Lolly Senior, saying we have every adverb in
the book, so come on down and look!}
{Hello, folks.  Lolly Junior here.  Suppose your house needs painting.
How are you going to paint it?  That's where the adverb comes in.
We can also give you a special intensifier so you can paint it very
neatly or rather sloppily.}
{Hi.  Suppose you're going nut-gathering. Your buddy wants to know
where and when.  Use an adverb and tell him.)

Get your adverb...

Use it with an adjective, it says much more.
Anything described can be described some more.
Anything you'd ever need is in the store,
And so you choose very carefully
Every word you use.

Use it with a verb it tells us how you did.
Where it happened, where you're going, where you've been.
Use it with another adverb at the end, and even more...
How, where, or when, condition or reason...
These questions are answered
When you use an adverb...

{Come and get it!}

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here!
Quickly quickly quickly, get your adverbs here!
Slowly surely really, learn your adverbs here!
You're going need 'em
If you read 'em,
If you write or talk or think about it.

Lolly...

}} {If it's an adverb we have it at Lolly's!
}}  Bring along your old adjectives too, like slow, soft and sure.
}}  We'll fit them out with our "l-y" attachment,
}}  And make perfectly good adverbs out of them!}

Get your adverbs here!
}} {Lots of good tricks at Lolly's, so come on down!}
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
}} {Adverbs deal with manner, place, time...}
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
}} {Condition, reason...}
Father Son and Lolly!
}} {Comparison, contrast...}
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
}} {Enrich your language with adverbs!}
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
{Besides, they're absolutely free!}
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
}} {At your service!}
Indubitably!

The Daumenator has spoken