Tried this game recently. I
made the decision to do it without help. Here are my thoughts as they pass with
this game.
- It's
4:15 in the morning. Because I say so, that's why. It's Thursday.
- Going
with Klaus as my name. I feel like being Klaus, the risk-taker.
- Prof.
Elm says he knows a guy named, "Mr. Pokemon." Calling
shenanigans on that. Nobody has the last name "pokemon." Details
later if I'm wrong.
- Is
time really an issue here? I might regret that whole daylight savings
time. Mom just told me to change my clock in the future.
- I
went back to try to eat some food. Cinnabar Volcano Burger sounds so good
right now. Don't know why I can't just eat it now. It's 4:19 in the
morning, I have no control over my life.
- I
went with a male Cyndaquil. Don't care about spelling because I renamed
him to Winston. "Because I can" is becoming a theme.
- It
looks like I will have to go to Cherrygrove. Total crap, I want to fight
Rattata in Pallet Town.
- Is
calling people a big thing here? I don't really want to call people, but I
just got a couple phone numbers.
- Just
tried calling Mom. Most one sided conversation I had ever heard. "Oh,
go and run that errand now. Bye!"
- Just
tried calling Prof. Elm while still in the room with him. FOILED!
- Just
tried calling Prof. Elm. He told me to not overdo it. I just realized what
I forgot to do. Good thing I wrote it down.
- I
found my first pokemon. PIDGEY. Battle took longer than I originally
wanted, but alright! kicking ass, taking names.
- Apparently I
just recovered using a berry. I don't know where that came from.
- Ooh,
just learned smokescreen. I guess that makes them have no accuracy.
Alright. That is something I am probably never going to use.
- Just
ran into two dudes battling. They told me to get lost. Well excuse me.
- Professor
Oak told me that he has a radio show. Good for him. I hope he gets paid
for it.
- Oooh
getting a call from Professor Elm. It seems urgent.
- Aaah,
??? why do you want to battle me? Elm needs me right now. Kicked his ass
anyway. I was at level 9, he was at level 5. Freaking weak ass Totodile.
- He
asked me if I was happy that I won. What do you think "???," I
got $300 for winning.
- Is
??? even a valid name?
- Is
Sentret like the Rattata of Red and Blue?
- ???
Stole that pokemon? That bastard! I'm going to call him Ass-Hat
- Wow,
I just got 5 Poke balls. Thanks, buddy.
- Thanks
mom for saving my money. I don't know how that is going to work, but I
will not turn down money.
- Ha!
Beatin' up youngster Mikey. Dude just tried to brag about his rattata and
pidgey. Weak sauce, man.
- Random
girl on the streets just told me that I look a trainer in the eye, I will
get fought. Keeping my head down now.
- Winston
just became a Quilava. I am so proud of him. He is a special being.
- I
wouldn't normally catch a bellsprout, but a dude just offered up an onix
to get one. I am taking that sweet deal. His name is Rocky.
- A
whole tower dedicated to Bellsprout is a risky move.
- Frickin'
Ass-Hat is here. What a douche. Even the sages around here hate him. Using
an escape rope like a douche.
- Alright,
I don't care what anyone says. I want a Mereep. I will name it sheeeeeeeep
with however many e's I am allowed.
- I
just talked to a dude I can only describe as "Fat Yoda." Our
conversation was, "Trainer are you? Fight you gym leader? It is
good."
- Just
hatched an egg into Togepi. I feel so motherly. Wait, how did I know it
was a Togepi? It probably told me. Hmmmmm... naming it Egg-Head.
- Professor
Elm keeps calling me at oddly convenient times.
- Back
to kindergarten times: shifted around a puzzle picture to make a pokemon.
Then I ended up catching an unknown and calling it "Say What?"
- Alright,
I put Egg-Head and Say What? in the box. I don't think they make the cut
for team Kickass.
- Onix
is going rogue. I just told him to tackle and he calls an audible and does
screech.
- Onix
then decided wasn't doing anything. Getting real tired of your shit
Onix...
- Alright,
since this Onix wasn't even mine. I am catching a new one. That'll show
'em.
- New
Onix is named Xavier. I am not sold on the name. I think I regret this
method of revenge. I don't even know if I want an Onix.
- SHEEEEEEEP
just upgraded to a Flaafy. He is pink. I don't think that strikes fear
into the hearts of opponents. Then again, he was a sheep five minutes ago.
- Do
these gym leaders really just hang around their gym with one type of
pokemon and then only have two or three of the same kind? Holy cheese. I
have three badges.
- I
regret what I just did. These trainers have been calling me over and over
again to give me updates on where they stand when fighting Pidgeys and
Rattatas. Joey and this hiker guy have recently challenged me again. The
only problem is that I have to travel all the way back to fight them
again. I did just that; it was too long of a journey and I got tired. I don't know
what I expected since one of them told me that he was so close to making a
pidgey faint. All I could think is "bitch, please. My sheep knocks
out five pidgeys in one shot." Long story short, Youngster Joey just
called a tornado into town and didn't learn his lesson the first or second
time because he keeps calling me.
- Reviving
the old Team kickass and caught The Warden (Spearow) and Dwayne (Nidoran
(male)). I think I will bench The Warden because I don't think he could
live up to the old one. Dwayne has promise, though. I will see what new
pokemon awaits before I review Team Kickass.
- Just
visited a day care to see if I could make an egg (someone told me I could
do that). For some reason I thought a Nidorino and an Onix are a perfect
match. Future me should have time traveled back to tell me to rethink
that.
- Before
you think the above statement was stupid think about this: Not only are
those two pokemon not compatible in anyway, but they are both male. I just
sparked a gay pokemon rights debate. I am going to flee to the National
Park now.
- Interesting
grass in this national park. Wait, did I just say that?
- Just
saw a hoothoot. Nothing special; I think he has one leg, but I won't hold
that against him.
- I
just found out what is with this squiggly tree that doesn't allow anybody
to go anywhere. Turns out, he's a pokemon who just likes ruining
everyone's day
- Girl
just gave me a waterbottle to spray squiggly tree with. That was
convenient...
- Just
caught the tree (wait, did I just say that?). Turns out, the name is
Sudowoodo. I just named him Tupac.
- Reading
the description of Sudowoodo (The tree) tells me that it is a rock type.
What...?
- Just
fought a stantler. His tail looks like a tumor. I was think as I beat him
with fire, dat anter...
- Just
fought some twins, which I think is weird. They fight as one, which I
think is even weirder.
- Fighting
in the ghost gym. One dude has five ghastly. Five ghastlys. Dude. That is too
many. Diversify. DIversify, I say.
- I
guess I am not supposed to go in the burned tower. Too bad. I do what I
want.
- Ugh,
Ass-Hat is here. What a douche.
- Beat
Ass-Hat and Winston evolved into a Typhlosion. I am so proud. He looks
like a badass.
- Mom
keeps calling me and saying that she bought something I might like with my
money. I should give her feedback.
- I
think I am in the tin tower. I am not sure how I got out, but I am on the
ground again. Weird…
- I
guess that building was just an intro to the tin tower. I guess I will
look for something legendary. I hope it is a legendary Rattata.
- All
these towers have jiggly centers. Are they all made of jello or constantly
battling earthquakes like Japan?
- It
was a good call by Nintendo to assume I wanted to cut or headbutt without
going to the menu to do it.
- I
just realized I beat a gentleman with a pokemon named Tupac to show how
serious I was. What have I done?
- SHEEEEEEEP
just evolved into Ampharos. Good for him. Less sheep like, but I will just
say he has been working out.
- There
is a hole in this lighthouse. I fell through a hole in a lighthouse. I
fell a story through a hole in a lighthouse. WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN A LIGHTHOUSE FLOOR? I demand answers.
- Mom
bought me a doll. That better come in handy later. I am a serious pokemon
trainer mom… who names his team “kickass” and has a pokemon named tupac.
- I
honestly can’t figure out where to go next. I must have missed a gym.
Somehow I am at the lage of rage now.
- I
caught a Noctowl and named him Reginald. I think that was a good idea. It
seems he can do psychic things.
- Team
Kickass currently consists of:
Winston the Typhlosion
Sheeeeeep the Ampharos
Tupac the Sudowoodo
Reginald the Noctowl - Caught
a Poliwag and named him Fat Otter. Jury is still out on whether to keep
him or not. I need to find out all water options.
- I
just caught a Magikarp and named him Codfish. It looks like I will choose
between those two.
- Fat
Otter wins. I think he will be better in the long run.
- Just
figured out that I need surf and where to get it. On may way!
- Just
beat a pokemon that was called espion. I think it is good at spying
(espionage)
- I
went out o fmy way to get this potion to the gym leader. Travel across the
sea to get it. Go to the top of a lighthouse. Fall down a hole. Then, she
takes credit for healing her won pokemon. Then she makes me walk all the
way back to her gym. I fight her (that’s fair), then “in accordance with
the rules of the league” she begrudgingly gives me a badge. What the hell?
I thought she was the compassionate gym leader.
- A
trainer by the name of fire breather threw me for a loop. Firebreather,
yeah fire breather, just used… Koffing.
- “Goodness,
you’re out late!” Don’t judge me, lady, just heal Reginald.
- Damn
it, Joey. I don’t need to hear how you almost caught a hoothoot. I caught
it’s older self and he isn’t even my best (actually he is not doing well.
I need to teach him some moves or something).
- Why
do I feel so maniacally evil when I unleash the hell that is a rock slide
on a Rattata? It feels so good.
- Still
not sure what I saw in the basement just now. Dogs just turned different
colors and ran away. Way to remind me of my animal magnetism.
- Captured
a Red Gyrados and named it red dawn. Still am keeping Fat Otter.
- Team
Rocket breaks all the rules about being a secret operation. They are
obvious about everything.
- The
shop keeper for their secret hideout just kind of gave a sigh and said,
“argh, you found the secret stairway.” Dude, you are supposed to kill us,
gosh.
- Wait,
is Lance the guy from the Elite four? He is just walking around like a
hobo. Weird.
- A
guy in team rocket tried to sound menacing by saying hyuck-hyuck-hyuck
before he attacked.
- Credit
to youngster Joey. He evolved his Rattata. I’m going to kick his ass now.
- You
will not seduce me, wench! I will beat you and your ugly pokemon.
- Caught
a Jynx and named it chuckles. I got a good team now. I just have to level
up everybody.
- Turns
out you need a dragon to challenge the leader. Looks like I am on the
hunt.
- Caught
a Dratini and named it Posh Spice. Why? Because I can.
- I
decided I am changing Fat Otter’s (Polywag) name to Tom Hanks. it is nicer
and easier to remember.
- Trying
to rename him to tom hanks makes me run into Team Rocket. Douchebags…
- Wait,
isn’t there a policeman here? I just talked to him and he was “still
looking for suspicious people.” TEAM ROCKET IS BLOCKING EVERYONE IN THE
TOWN FROM THEIR DAILY LIVES. THAT IS SUSPICIOUS.
- Ass-Hat?
Why are stopping me from beating team rocket right now. I am busy.
- I think the FInal Team Kickass Lineup before the Elite people will be:
Winston: Typhlosion (Fire and my second first buddy)
Sheeeeeeep: Ampharos (Electric, boogie woogie woogie)
Reginald: Noctowl (Flying, Psychic and a dark, brooding personality)
Tupac: Sudowoodo (Rock; he had me at "jiggly-tree")
Tom Hanks: Poliwrath (Water; does whatever a water-thing does)
Chuckles: Jynx (Ice, I guess. This one could be replaced depending on the circumstances. Maybe if there was a return of Ice Cold! (Articuno))
The rest of my thoughts are similar to "I won, yeah. let's go beat up Ass-Hat." I think it is just more of the same. You can always assume that I am eventually not going to lose.
On another note, this is my last post until further notice. I am going on hiatus due to low readership (less than 5 people that I know of) and lack of creativity on my part. If I ever post again, it will be on a Friday at the usual time.
The Daumenator has played for a long time and wants time off so he can rise again, stronger than before
